February Reset

Well, so far February has not disappointed in its' ability to spread a little bleakness.  A recent death in the family has kept me from blogging as I meant to these past few days but I promise to get back on the quest for February happiness in the next few days.

Basketball Dreams

By today's standards, I found basketball relatively late in life.  While most kids today are groomed for sports by the age of five, I was 12 before I stepped on to the court.  And it wasn't my parents researching leagues or scouting teams.  I played for my school.  Remember those days?  When kids could have no experience and still make a school team?
But I digress.
Basketball.  I cannot begin to describe how it feels to stand on the court and shoot.  The visualization, the focus, the sound of the ball sailing through the net.  I love every second.  In fact, I could stand and practice shooting for hours.  For so many years, it was my go-to when I needed a little zen.  In recent years, I joined a woman's league hoping to find a little of the joy I used to feel on the court.  I realized two things.  Firstly, I am an over the top competitive person who is unable to tone it down to play in a rec league with people older than I.  I tried.  I truly did.  But then I got annoyed that the person dribbling in front of me was so casually bouncing the ball and I put a stop to it.  And may have bumped her a bit in the process.  There was a lot of apologizing.  Which I knew was the right thing to do but somehow felt fundamentally wrong.  Secondly, I am an over the top competitive person who is unable to tone it down to play in a rec league.  I couldn't let a rebound go by.  I couldn't not take the shot (although truthfully I did try very hard to pass the ball even when I had an open lane to drive right to the basket) when it was there.  I couldn't ease up on defence.  And that lead to a distinct burning pain in my shoulder; one that wouldn't go away with ice, advil, or massage.
Sadly I have not played a game of basketball in two years but luckily one of my DDs has decided to play and if I play my cards right (i.e., keep my mouth shut and remember that it is her game to play, not mine) I will be able to spend many years watching her on the court. 

Sing yourself Happy

I love music.  The power it holds to change a mood, change perspectives, and sometimes change a little piece of who you are.  If I were to choose a super power, it would be to be able to sing like Christina Aguilara (okay, I love her voice but have no idea how to spell her last name).  Man, that woman has some pipes.  While I don't necessarily listen to her music, I do admire the voice.
In fact, one of the best times I have had in recent memory was at a karaoke party we held for some friends visiting from Wisconsin.  So. Much. Fun.  Everyone, and I mean everyone, belted out a tune or two and before you know it, it was 2am.  I ask you, how can you be unhappy when there are so many good songs to boost your spirits?  Below are 10 of my favourites:

1.  These are the Days by 10,000 maniacs
--Natalie Merchant's voice.  That is all I need to say about this.

2.  Give a Little Bit by Supertramp
--forget the train wreck Goo Goo Dolls version.  It is abhorrent.

3.  Peaceful Easy Feeling by the Eagles
--turned this lovely into a lullabye for my kids; so much more fun to sing than twinkle twinkle little star

4.  Where the Streets have no Name by U2
--guitar riff.  And the video.  And Bono.  Everytime I hear this song I think about the summer I was 16 years old and going to this concert by bus with some very sketchy people.

5.  Unwritten by Natasha Beddinfield (oh my...I have completely forgotten her last name!)
--probably one of the few newer songs that have made the list.  This song just makes me want to dance.  And that, my friends, is not a pretty sight.

6.  Rain in the Summertime by the Alarm
--one of the more commercial songs from them that I love but what can I say?  Belt it out with me...."I love to feel the rain in the summertime....oh, I love to feel the rain on my face". 

7.  Home for a Rest by Spirit of the West
--dancing like a crazy person.  That is what this song inspires.  And shamefully, my kids knew the lyrics to this song at waayyy too young an age--oops.

8.  Three Little Birds by Bob Marley
--every happy day should include a little Bob.  Seriously.

9.  Solsbury Hill by Peter Gabriel
--love Peter.  So much talent.  This song reminds me of first year exams so many years ago....not sure why but this became the anthem for my roomie and I. 

10.  Sweet Baby James by James Taylor
--so hard to choose just one song by James Taylor.  And I know that dates me for sure but listening to James and his guitar is one of my favourite things to do on a Sunday afternoon.

I think I could list songs for the entire month of February but don't worry, I won't force my play list on anyone past today.  Let me know what your favourites are......

Bring it on February....I am ready to kick your gray, nasty butt to the curb!

February has to be my most dreaded month.  After the snow and gray of January we are treated to more snow and more gray.  About this time I begin really missing the sun.  In order to cheer myself through February, I am going to focus on the things I love and write about one thing every day that makes me happy.  I think it is safe to say that my family would top the list so I won't include them in the official list as this blog normally contains a good deal of how much I love my husband and kids.  Beginning tomorrow, I am going to change February for me.  Come along for the ride, I guarantee it will be more entertaining than shovelling and filling the wiper fluid tank of your car!

Chlorine is my family's signature scent

I've had several people ask me lately why I have my kids in swimming.  They wonder why we (DH and I) endure early morning drives to the pool, after work drives to the pool (and sometimes both on the same day), full weekends of either working the deck at swim meets or sitting in the bleachers.  And truthfully, I find these questions understandable but also irritating.  Firstly, I am not the one doing the swimming so what is to be endured? If my DDs are willing to swim at 5:30 am, surely I can drive them there. If my kids are willing to push themselves to enter and race at swim meets, surely I can hold a stop watch to time them or, at worst, sit like a lump on the bleachers to cheer them on.  Admittedly, there are other things I can be doing but there will be many years for that.  My DDs are not swim stars but they are learning about dedication, commitment, and drive.  At the meet this past weekend, DD #2 approached the lane where I was timing to show me that she'd written the national qualifying time on her arm for an event that she hadn't yet made a regional time in.  To motivate her.  Those kind of dreams in a preteen girl are worth every hour spent in the car, on the pool deck, and in the bleachers.  What's a little sleep in comparison?

Ask Me Anything

Okay, I realize I am old by social media standards and my opinions are less than current but recently, I have been completely disgusted by the trend towards young women putting their whole lives (and I mean WHOLE lives) on a question-based social media site.  I am not sure if they realize that someone like me (yes, I admit to a certain amount of trolling but I do have two DDs to look out for) can access their answers.  Answers to questions regarding drug use, sexual experiences, sexual preferences...pick a topic and there is some young woman candidly answering questions for all (and I do mean ALL) to read.  Terrifying.  I can only pray that these young girls have a parent who is paying attention.  And not just about the content (because that seems disturbing enough but who ever said teens made good decisions?) but the fact that this information is now PUBLIC knowledge.  Because you can bet the first thing I did after seeing those pages was sit my DD down and ASK questions.

Rubber Chickens

I work with all sorts of people; some young, some in mid-life, but many are seniors.  After 11 years working with school-aged kids, I wasn't sure how I would enjoy working with the 65 + crowd again but truth is, I love it.  Those who have been around the block a time or two can really teach us how to live today, if we are wise enough to listen.  This week, I had a home visit at a retirement residence, the kind where you have a studio type room (bed, tv, desk all in one space), your own bathroom, and a dining room/rec area for everyone.  The woman I was there to see was a recent addition to the home and although adapting slowly, is not particularly pleased to be there.  As we discussed her therapy needs and her Christmas holidays, she mentioned something in passing about Rubber Chickens.  When I stopped with my agenda and listened to hers, she was keen to tell me about her first visit to the facility where she witnessed a game of Rubber Chicken toss.  Which, I am sorry to say, is just as it sounds.  Residents are given 6 Rubber Chickens and try to toss them into a bucket.  My companion told me that, at that time, she was just there for respite and so laughed at the absurdity of the game.  Three months later, and now a full time resident, she reports that she attended the Rubber Chicken toss game a few days back.  Without missing a beat, she leans to me and says, "Imagine that. That my life has come to the point where I am throwing Rubber Chickens into a bucket.  And people are excited and clapping for me.  Just imagine".  A learned, well-spoken, and undoubtedly classy lady standing with Rubber Chickens.  My heart dropped at the mental picture of it all.  But there was something to take away from this.  The Rubber Chickens may come for us all.  Really and truly.  And to me, they symbolize our ability to adapt and adjust to a new reality and to just let go of all that has come before.  I am not sure I want to think about my Golden years as a process of letting go of oneself, piece by piece, so that tossing Rubber Chickens seems like fun.  Clearly I, at 42, do not have the answer but you can bet I will be picking the brains of those who have gone before.  And I will remember the Rubber Chickens when I consider choices for my future.  I truly will.

40 Somethings out on the town

Had the most wonderful time out with some girlfriends last night.  I am not generally a "let loose" kinda gal so a night on the town warrants a blog post.  Really.  While we occupied a booth at one of our old haunts, we vented (a lot), ate (even more), drank a few too many perhaps (definitely), and relived a few old memories (new years 1988 to be exact).  I know it seems corny but today I feel so refreshed.  And settled.  And peaceful.  Amazing what a little time with some good friends can do.  I need to make more time for nights like that; for just dropping everything and relaxing.  Well, maybe minus the shots...honestly, if you are too old to remember what sort of shot you might like, you are likely to old to be doing one.

New Year's Evolution

Here I am again.  Not exactly a new year's resolution because, frankly, I am not a fan of those.  But perhaps a new year's evolution.  In the past few days there have I have seen many Facebook posts describing "life plans", "goal lists", or their "word of the year".  While I think these are all good things, if pressed I would have no idea what framework to give my upcoming year.  Sure, there are things I want out of life.  But to quantify and measure? I am not sure I can even begin to do this.
This morning I began the day as I usually do, with strong coffee and a flip through social media.  For the past few months now, I have been following a 15 year old girl and her recovery post lung transplant.  I was drawn to the page by a friend, who knows the family, and have been mesmerized by this young woman's strength, determination, and willingness to embrace life as it is.  Today I was stunned to read that she had died late last night, in the blink of an eye, from an aggressive strep infection.  As the news slammed into me, my instinct was to run upstairs and hug my children but since it isn't yet 9am we all know how that would end.  So instead, I have been brought me back to this blog.  And to reflecting on how to dedicate the next year of my life.  My thoughts are simple; I am going to love more.  Really love.  The kind that involves stopping my craziness and just listening, truly listening to those I love.  And maybe those I don't care for as much, too.  I am going to invest less in the everyday drama and focus more on the goodness.  And try as hard as I can to remain calm and sane in the face of chaos.  I won't give it a word, incorporate it into a plan, or add it to a list.  I am just going to do.